Dreams Are Dreams, No Matter How Small

Have been thinking about this a lot lately. Mainly because my dreams have become so simple - well, overall. Not always so simple to achieve (like getting pregnant), but not too grandiose. And because people have often put them down as not big enough, and because friends and family have inadvertently and intentionally mocked me for them. What my long term goal has been is to be lady. In the sense of being gracious to everyone, stranger or friend - being helpful with almost no visible effort - being kind in thought, word and deed - those sorts of things. My sister and father thought it was not a goal worth having. They were/are intellects who believe in scholarly works and art and such - changing the fate of entire tribes of people. What they did not always consider is someone has to provide the comforts for those people --- to set food out for their meetings and open guest bedrooms when they are on the road and there are no hotels (or no budget for hotels). And in a grander sense, there should be those people who admire the work, who encourage on days of discouragement and who listen to the ideas as a sounding board. Those things take intelligence - one cannot be the consummate hostess without being clever and observant. One must be able to understand the discussions and the goals of solving the world's problems. And it takes the willingness to do the grunt work - to wash the dishes, do the laundry, organise the papers and books. To provide a comfortable place to meet, and to make the home welcoming. And when I want to learn new things - to cook, to sew - I get the combination of 'Why would you want to do that??' and 'Why don't you already know that?!' Always in condescending tones. I have always wanted to be useful - that's why I want to do that. To feel like I can provide something to those around me. For the second question, well - it's because my mom is one of the ones who asks the first question. And yes, I want credit for the things I already do when it comes to those people. To have them realise I do domestic things, even though I'm not the Martha Stewart or June Cleaver. And it doesn't matter how much value they place on that - because I place value on it. Just want them off my back. Strangely, my late brother is the one person who has most understood me in this world. He was seven years older than me, and I thought he didn't pay much attention to me. But he knew what I was feeling and who I was as a person more than my parents or sister. I only got to truly know who he was after his death - but I got to see he was pursuing some of his goals. To be a spiritual advisor and to uplift friends. To be the philosophy version of my domestic version. He was so much more intelligent than I am - beyond genius status. But he had a very giving heart when it came to those who needed him most. Our family has a long standing tradition of being giving people - to he to whom much is given, much is expected. Our Great Grandmother especially was known for giving to her communities - to be observant as to the needs of people. Both of my Grandmothers were hostesses and sometimes held 'salons' for some of the most intelligent people around. One was a very successful business woman, one was a scholar. They were ladies, not empty headed women. And they were all shining examples of what I want to be. No matter how little it seems to some.